Hello dearest readers. Shinra Bansho World has now officially been closed to make way for a much superior fan site: RYUUJOU KENSHIN WORLD!! In the coming days, all content will be deleted and replaced with educational material to help you better worship The True Queen of Kiryuu.
Oh? What’s that, nerdling? Takegami Shingen won the war and is the ruler of Kiryuu? Well, for all five of you who actually read this site, that might seem like a reasonable conclusion, but I am here now to tell you why that is WRONG and STUPID, and a GARBAGE TRAVESTY!!!
Let us start with, of course, the fact that our dear Hiryuu Seishou Kenshin is the strongest fighter in Kiryuu, with a Power level of 14. See, look, back of her card from Ikki Kasei no Shou Volume 1. She is, of course, respected by all, and known for her superlative sword skills, respected even by that loud mouth Shingen. Later volumes may show those with “higher” Power…but that’s only because she got SABOTAGED!!!
Do you recall how, in direct one-on-one fair-and-square combat, Kenshin beat the TAR out of Shingen? No? May I direct you to Ikki Kasei no Shou, Volume 1, IK 018 Ryuujou-gun Ashigarutai? See right there, Waferman’s Factoids? See it? That’s right, Kenshin BEAT Shingen, and THEREFORE is THE TRUE RULER OF KIRYUU!!!
And yet, somehow the further volumes are all about Buttface Shingen marching on to take over the world, followed by Kagato cosplaying as him like the ignorant lemming he is. Ahh yes, Kagato, this chapter’s alleged main character. What a brave and noble soul he is, launching into battle with Kenshin shortly after her victory…and then DISHONORABLY DOUBLE TEAMING HER along with STUPID BUTTFACE SHINGEN!!!!
Yes, that’s right: The only way role model young hero Kagato and his shameful excuse for an adoptive father Shingen could beat Holy General Kenshin, The Soaring Dragon, was to gang up on her like a pair of delinquents who are mad at the convenience store clerk for not selling them cigs. Sorry, you lost, get over it. But nope, apparently the only ones worthy enough to take over this country are a pair of hooligans who think two against one is fair play.
But oh, Kenshin, our Kenshin, far nobler than I or anyone else, still took it in stride. Yes, even while injured, and sweatered, her Power unfairly knocked down to 10, took it upon herself to teach Kagato her ways of the sword. For oh, she understood there are things far greater than herself, and with no disciples or heirs, passes down her techniques all the same, to be used in battle on the world stage.
Yeah. Yeah, I know. Doesn’t she sound like the person who should rightfully rule Kiryuu and unite the world? She does. She absolutely does.
BUT NOPE, no, none of that, yep, let’s all back the people who had to resort to underhanded tactics to get anywhere, let’s do that. At the least, the very least, Kenshin still appears in all her glory in Ikki Kasei no Shou Volume 3, where she…
…oh. Oh, I appear to have lost it. Where, oh where, is Kenshin’s Volume 3 card…
Ah, yes, nowhere to be found. Why? BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T HAVE ONE!!!!
That’s right, after all that, she doesn’t even get to proudly stand alongside the others in the card line up, cause she’s just been completely discarded by then. All she gets is a tiny little shoved-to-the-corner VS box appearance, eclipsed by Shingen’s dumb stupid head horns, fighting quite generously alongside him against Shirtless King Arthur. So dumb. Shingen, meanwhile, gets to appear on a super special golden shiny card, shaking bro hands with his new super bro King Arthur, where I guess they’ve just bro signed the bro treaty to make shirts and shoes strictly optional.
And there you have it. Our Noble Kenshin, reduced to playing secondhand mook on the back of cards and teaching spoiled brats how to hold a sword straight, robbed of the honor of being a world leader like she should be. I suppose if the next chapter continues to have special art cards, if she gets anything, it’ll depict her new job making sandwiches for the mens.
How? How does this happen? They say don’t shoot the messenger, but who is it that delivers this news – and, for all we are aware, has more control than he lets on?
Oh. Oh, that’s right. Wafer Man. Mr. Wafer Man of Wafer Man’s Factoids and Wafer Man’s Sweet, Sweet Whispers. And what’s this? As of the upcoming Shinra Bansho Gensouryu no Hihou, he now sports a blinged out hat and carries an intimidating whip? Why, he never had anything of the sort before! How does one go from the doe-eyed, impartial reporter of world events to pimped out stack of whip-cracking junk food?
How indeed. How indeed…
I’M ON TO YOU, WAFERED MAN!!!